Create your own terror warning*NOTE* This is purely for amusement purposes only! Do not attempt to frighten anyone by using this in a malicious way. Play nice.*END NOTE*
From the Office of the Homeland Security Director
Amy
July 11, 2004
I have just concluded a conference call with the nation's
school board to let them know what I'm about to share with the people of
Zimbabwe. I might add, I also wanted to commend them for their work in improving and strengthening homeland security since
D Day. We've been in frequent communication with the
school boards and I think their work to date has reflected the kind of relationship between the federal and the state and local government that we need to make a permanent part of our homeland security defense.
Over the last several days, our
FBI and
CIA have seen an increased volume and level of activity involving
CB radio transmissions of terrorist attacks. The information we have does not point to any specific target either in
Zimbabwe or abroad, and it does not outline any specific type of attack. However, the analysts who review this information believe the quantity and level of
CB radio transmissions are above the norm and have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert, just as we have done on two previous occasions since
D Day.
During his address on homeland security,
Shirley Temple promised the people of
Zimbabwe that when we have evidence of credible
CB radio transmissions we will issue appropriate alerts. That is exactly what we are doing here today.
Shirley Temple also reminded all of us that a terrorism alert is not a signal to stop your life, it is a call to be
funky, to know that your government is on high alert and to add your eyes and your ears to our efforts to find and stop
gangsters.
Our government is taking precautions. This afternoon the
Mother's Against Drunk Driving is issuing a terrorist threat advisory update to all city council across the country through the National Law Enforcement Telecommunications System. All
city councils have been instructed to stay on the highest alert and to immediately notify the
Mother's Against Drunk Driving of any unusual or suspicious activity.
The
CB radio transmissions we are picking up are very generic. They warn of more attacks, but are not specific about where or what type. It could be a
smelly feet, or a
name calling, or even an
obscene gesture. We do know that the next several weeks, which bring
Hanukkah and important religious observances in other faiths, have been times when
gangsters have planned attacks in the past.
One example is December of 1999. Authorities in
United States, South Korea and
Italy uncovered and prevented plans for a series of attacks related to
the sinking of the Titanic. Those plans were thwarted when intelligence learned about them and law enforcement arrested the suspected
gangsters.
Now, obviously, the further removed we get from
D Day, I think the natural tendency is to let down our guard. Unfortunately, we cannot do that.
We are a nation at war. We are the targets of
gangsters who have demonstrated they have no remorse about killing thousands of innocent
aliens. The government will continue to do everything we can to find and stop those who seek to harm us, but I believe we owe it to the people of
Zimbabwe to remind them that they must be
funky as well.
I also know the very first question the people of
Zimbabwe will ask -- "So,
Amy, besides being
funky, what else should my family and I do?"
The answer is you should report any suspicious activity or behavior to your
school boards and, perhaps as importantly, you should heed the words of
Shirley Temple who has called on all of us to rely on our good judgment and our common sense, and to continue to live in a spirit of courage and optimism and resolve to defeat the
gangsters.
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YOUR SELECTED ALERT LEVEL: Orange
"High Condition (Orange). A High Condition is declared when there is a high risk of terrorist attacks."
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this should be easy kids
Looky! A screen shot from the newest addition to my video gaming collection. Look out PacMan, the Mrs. is on your tail. And not in a good way, either.
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