click here to see the madness that is tatto!

Earth shattering Kaboom!

Being born and raised in Florida, I remember this vividly. Each time NASA sent up a shuttle, every child in a classroom in Florida was herded out onto the playground, told to stare at the sky, and wait. This particular launch was of great importance to school teachers and children alike, because aboard the shuttle was Christa McAuliffe, the first school teacher included in a shuttle mission.

It usually took an average of two to three minutes before we'd see anything, but then out of nowhere the sky would light up in a red burst of flame. Once she was visible though, you could watch seemingly forever before you lost sight.

The situation would turn out a bit different that day, sadly enough. The usual cheers of "THERE! LOOK OVER THE TREES!" were heard, and then my six-year-old eyes saw what I would carry with me for the rest of my life. That little red ball of flame shot into a million glowing pieces and tumbled from the sky.

Teachers were crying, children weren't quite sure what had happened. We all rushed back into the classrooms and we sat in front of the televisions watching replays of what we refused to believe had just occurred.

Being raised in NASA'S backyard makes a person love the launches just a bit more I think. Now, we all hold our breaths whenever they send a shuttle off. One small step for man... one giant leap for mankind.

CNN.com - Actor Chris Penn found dead - Jan 24, 2006

RIP to Eddie with the out-of-place clothes in Reservoir Dogs. our audience probably knows him best from that movie, though he's been in other classics such as True Romance, Mullholland Falls, Footloose, and even Corky Romano.

a quick glimpse of his excellent contributions to cult classics:

Nice Guy Eddie: Did you see that daddy? Guy got me on the ground and he tried to fuck me.
Mr. Blonde: You wish.
Nice Guy Eddie: Listen Vic, I don't mind what you do, but don't try to fuck me in my father's office, I don't think of you that way. I like you a lot man, but I don't think of you that way.
Mr. Blonde: Eddie, if I was a butt cowboy, I wouldn't even throw you to the posse.
Nice Guy Eddie: Of course not, you'd keep me for yourself, you sick bastard. Four years of fuckin' punks up the ass you'd appreciate a piece of prime rib when you see one.

Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money that she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fucking Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dick?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.

Fair Warning: I am extremely tough on movies. I love them, and I expect them to entertain, excite, nay, electrify me! This movie held so much promise. I own the original, flawed though it was, I loved it. That movie was every White Wolf tabletop gaming session come to life in brilliant darkness and hot chicks in leather. This movie was a continuation of the first, and in fact, improved upon the mythos.

Every person in the first movie, every scene and thought was touched upon, even expanded. Things made sense for the first time. The story was cohesive! I was in ecstacy! The only problem was the ending.

See, without spoiling anything, the ending was... long. Drawn out. Things were constructed to serve the plot. Keep a lookout for the dumbest incredibly powerful hybrid ever. He gets stuck behind a wall. Walls are hard!

There's also a gratuitious sex scene with lots of pelvic thrusting. Sadly, Scott Speedman doesn't understand the basic mechanics of the act and ended up thrusting at her belly button. But it was filmed so beautifully!

Kate Becksindale glowed so much, it looked like she was lit from inside! She was almost radioactive. And Scott Speedman kept losing his shirt. After a while, he stopped wearing one and just put a jacket over his naked torso, in the Baltics in midwinter. Luckily, he generates his own heat with his smoldering eyes.

See this if you liked the first, but don't expect incredible magic. Don't say I didn't warn you. I give it 3 stars out of five.

"An Icon is not a person. An Icon is just waiting for an Iconoclast to come along. In fact, an Icon doesn't even deserve a capital letter. From now on, you will be referred to as an icon.

icons are those who fuel the machine. icons are the cannon fodder that keep wars going. icons are numbers. icons are faceless. icons struggle every day to make enough money to pay for rent and food so that they can survive for one more day to start the whole process over again. icons are trapped.

All icons have is hope." ~ Iconoclast

Sometimes I think we remember solely to make you mad. Happy Birthday Iconoclast.

here's some random stuff from my "stuff" folder (kitten arsenal not included).

sources: people, and um... the internet.


aerial shot of my house, etc.


the Aztec


cuckoo fight


Vader meets The Fainting Goats


ok, i'll put ONE kitten


this will always make me smile.


so will this.


sort of a long story.


the day my car met her sexy red boyfriend.


hells yeah


and the grand finale: if Microsoft made Zelda.

while we seem to be out of real content, does anyone else have fluff kicking around?

This is one awesome idea. Get a bunch of friends together and auction yourself off to get a job.



Family for lease


So far, by my math, they will make an average of $37.5k a year to work in tourism, or continue working in tourism. I'm curious what happened to their last job.

• Nintendo's Virtual Console Survey News Story From 1UP.com - the retro game library idea is slowly fleshing out. it's quite doubtful the interface will be like this, but you'll get a better look at Nintendo's ideas.
• Online, Touch Screen Tetris Nwes Story From 1UP.com - Tetris comes to NDS Wifi in March. hells yeah.
• Man sues over chatroom humiliation - let me guess: " they drew my penis in ASCII :( "
• Chrysler Revives Two Venerable Names - more evidence of the muscle car's return. and look at that gangster Imperial. see, even a Dodge can be a chick magnet.
• Create an e-annoyance, go to jail - what. . . . . . . . wait, maybe this can be good... DID YOU READ THIS, ZONK SPAMMERS?
• Imation Flash Wristband - weeeehehe, can't wait to get one in green with my name engraved on it XD ... errr... i mean, this is a very practical device for one and all.
• They're Baaack! Intelligent Design Resurrected, This Time as "Philosophy" - sigh.
• Flaming Mouse Story Found To Be False - you might have missed this unbelievable story of the vengeful mouse on fire, but don't worry cuz the jerk made it up.

the following is a collection of actual excuse nots from parents (including spelling) from the Office of Educational Assessment at the University of Washington.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and i had her shot.

Dear School. Please ekscuse john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Iriving was absent yesterday beause he missed his bust.

Please excused Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

Please excuse Jenifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with the marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat.
her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

trying to be rid of boxes of stuff from my past, i run across some old high school newspapers. i remember this article very fondly and must share

the brady commandments

*This article was written strictly from the perspective of a shareholder of Nintendo stock. These suggestions merely reflect strategies for increasing market share.

Nintendo, I love you.....a lot. I love you as much as Wario loves pasta. But I'm a realist, and I'm going to be real with you right now. If you really want to please your core base of fanatical followers who gobble up anything and everything Nintendo as well as those that could be brought into the fold here are 5 things that will help you do it.

5: Deadline Driving for 8 Billion Red Coins
Please, please, don't tell me about a game until you're sure you can release it when you say you can. You get me all worked up about a game like Twilight Princess and then push it back, and push it back, and push it back. It gets old! Stop doing it. Finish the game then tell people about it six month before you release it. Problem solved.

4: Footrace with Sony the Quick
It already may be a little late for this one Nintendo, but you need to beat Sony to the market if you can. Captialize on the shortage of 360's too! People will get impatient and want something next gen, and you can be there to cradle their anger. Get your Revolution hardware out and in our hands and take our dollars as soon as possible because after we buy a 360, 4 controllers, a hard drive, 2 games, X-Box live service, a PSIII, an extra controller, 2 games, and memory cards we're not going to have enough money lying around to buy a Revolution.

3. Nintendo's Secret Star: What's inside the box?
Nintendo, seriously, you need to give us some more info about what you're doing to make the Nintendo Revolution so Revolutionary. Okay, so you showed us the Nanchuku and your controller that looks like a remmote, but what about the specs? I want to know what the processor speed is, how many frames are we getting? Is it really just a Gamecube re-packaged with a new type of controller or is there a best lying under the hood? You even say you have more surprises just waiting to be revealed, c'mon Nintendo, reveal them!

2. Nintendo's Image Lost
You need to fix your image, you have the 3-9 year old market cornered, nobody can touch you, but now its time to graduate to the big leagues. If you want to survive and latch onto the adult audince. I suggest buying a well known franchise like GTA or create one and make it a Nintendo exclusive. Remind people you started the dawn of multiplayer console shooters with Goldeneye and that more adult themed games are definitely comming.

Also, no more cartridges or mini discs, they are done for and EVERYBODY seems to like full sized discs, at least in America.

1. To the Top of the Mountain
Last, but not least, you seriously need to get a better shell for your controller. I personally like it and think it's brilliant, but people aren't ready for it yet. You need to have a more traditional controller for your next gen system. I'm NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD GET RID OF THE MOTION SENSOR, but definitely scrap the remote control look.

Slashdot | Futurama to be Resurrected?

in celebration of the return of the Futurama template.

...i already miss the Zimmy Christmas one :(

for years i've been particulary amazed with this type of spam. for one, it is the only spam that occasionally seeps through my wonderful filters. it is also the only spam i've almost been fooled by. i receive some sort of communication from eBay or Paypal or Half.com daily.

what happens is you'll receive mail that by all appearances, down to the last pixel, is from eBay or one of its branches. the spammers have captured the style and text of the standard eBay notices perfectly, and they aren't even using lines like "please confirm your credit card info" or something suspicious like that. you casually click it and then go to a perfectly convincing login page, as you normally would when directed to eBay. the goal is obviously for them to retrieve your account login information and do damage to your finances that way. some emails ask for more information, but by now we're all trained to not fall for that so easily.

don't panic. anyone with a nugget of internet smarts will see that the address bar shows a url completely other than ebay.com. prior to that you can also see the links pointing to some nefarious non-eBay place when you hover over them. so, to the interweb-savvy, this scam falls flat. i shudder to imagine the thousands of people who must have fallen for this. even those who are barely computer literate are on eBay.


(click for biggy)

today's example landed in my inbox with a new-to-me twist: a question from a buyer. as someone who always has something listed on eBay's half.com, i was fully ready to click and proceed before noticing the telltale links. it also has some uncharacteristically shoddy graphics. thankfully, this particular site has already been taken down, as the links go to 404s.

eBay does have a help page addressing this widespread problem: Spoof Email Tutorial. pass it along to your moms and grandfathers and any other susceptible eBayers. i also finally have a place to report the tricksy spammers: forward the email to spoof@ebay.com or spoof@paypal.com.

here ends your E301 internet public service announcement.

Toddler's Talking Elmo Book Asks 'Who Wants To Die?'

what we all knew was true all along: Elmo is from hell. you must watch the video on the news report. you'll hear the perky little death threat for yourself.

on Bob & Tom they played the sound without tainting your perception by telling you what to listen for, and without bias i definitely heard "DIE"!

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Family Finds Raw Meat Instead Of iPod Inside Sealed Box

THE APPLE MEATPOD! i can only imagine how this family's brains swirled in shocking confusion. hopefully the meat didn't come with a healthy batch of botulism. BOTULISM!

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Rings of bone grown for couples

marry me. take my bone.

Anyone up for some New Year traditions? Thought this might be an interesting read. Here we go.

Random traditions from around the world.

Spanish: Tradition holds to eat 12 grapes at midnight. One grape is eaten with each toll of the bell.
Switzerland: For good luck, let a drop of cream land on the floor New Years Day.
Puerto Rico: Children enjoy throwing pails of water out the window at midnight to rid the home of evil spirits.
Ireland: Girls go to bed with a sprigs of mistletoe, or holly and ivy leaves under their pillows so they would go to bed dreaming of their future husbands.
Babylonia: The king is put through the ritual of humiliation. All of his powers are removed and he is hit in the face by a priest, who tells him he must go and pray for forgiveness of his sins.

Happy New Year, regardless of how you rid yourselves of evil spirits! Hope everyone had a safe holiday.

Erotic Thriller

You've made your own rules in life - and sometimes that catches up with you. Winding a web of deceit comes naturally, and no one really knows the true you. Your best movie matches: Swimming Pool, Unfaithful, The Crush