As per requested Sistah, here's your tribute.

Don Knotts
Biography via Wikipedia

Early life
He was born in Morgantown, West Virginia to Elsie L. Moore and William Jesse Knotts. Knotts had a hard childhood as his father became a paranoid schizophrenic and alcoholic.

At 19 he joined the Army and served in World War II as part of a traveling GI variety shows called "Stars and Gripes." He received the World War II Victory Medal. After the war Knotts graduated from West Virginia University in 1948 with a degree in theater.

Career
After being a regular performer in the soap opera Search for Tomorrow from 1953 to 1955, he gained additional exposure in 1956 on Steve Allen's variety show, appearing in Allen's mock "Man in the Street" interviews, always as a man obviously very nervous about being on camera.

Knotts as Barney Fife on The Andy Griffith ShowKnotts's portrayal of a bumbling deputy sheriff on the very popular television sitcom The Andy Griffith Show was the role which earned him his greatest recognition.

A summary of the show from the website of the Museum of Broadcast Communications describes Deputy Fife:

"Most of Andy's time, however, was spent controlling his earnest but over-zealous deputy, Barney Fife. Self-important, romantic, and nearly always wrong, Barney dreamed of the day he could use the one bullet Andy had issued to him. While Barney was forever frustrated that Mayberry was too small for the delusional ideas he had of himself, viewers got the sense that he couldn't have survived anywhere else. Don Knotts played the comic and pathetic sides of the character with equal aplomb."

After leaving the series in 1965, Knotts starred in a series of film comedies which drew on his persona from the TV series: The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964), The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966), The Reluctant Astronaut (1967), The Shakiest Gun in the West (1968) and The Love God? (1969).

In the late 1960s and early '70s, he served as the spokesman for Dodge trucks and was featured prominently in a series of print ads and dealer brochures.

In the 1970s, Knotts and Tim Conway starred together in a series of slapstick movies, including the 1975 Disney film The Apple Dumpling Gang, and its 1979 sequel, The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again.

Knotts returned to series television in the late 1970s, appearing as landlord Ralph Furley on Three's Company, after Audra Lindley and Norman Fell left the show to star in a short-lived spin-off series (The Ropers). Knotts remained on the show from 1979 until it ended in 1984. In 1986, he reunited with Andy Griffith in the 1986 made-for-television movie Return to Mayberry, where he reprised his role as "Barney Fife". From 1989 to 1992, Knotts again co-starred with Griffith, playing a recurring role as pesky neighbor Les Calhoun on Matlock. More recently, he guest starred on Robot Chicken with Phyllis Diller.

In 1998, Knotts had a small, pivotal role as the mysterious TV repairman in Pleasantville. Seven years later he performed as the voice of Mayor Turkey Lurkey in Chicken Little (2005), his first Disney movie since 1979.

In 2000 he was recognized for his television work with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Death
Knotts died at the UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles, California at the age of 81 from pulmonary and respiratory complications related to lung cancer. He had been undergoing treatment at Cedars in recent months, but went home after he reportedly had been getting better.

Andy Griffith was at his bedside when Knotts died late in the evening. Knotts' obituaries began surfacing the Saturday evening following his death, mostly noting his Barney Fife character. Some even cited him as a huge influence on other famous television stars. Musician and fan J.D. Wilkes said this about Knotts: "Only a genius like Knotts could make an anxiety-ridden, passive-aggressive Napoleon character like Fife a familiar, welcome friend each week. Without his awesome contributions to television there would've been no other over-the-top, self-deprecating acts like Conan O'Brien or Chris Farley."

Trivia
*Andy Griffith often called Knotts by his first name, Jesse.
*Was actually a calm and quiet person, in sharp contrast to some of his characters that he had played (especially Barney Fife and Ralph Furley).
*Was a ventriloquist early in life with a doll named Danny.
*Three's Company script supervisor, Carol Summers, went on to be Knotts' agent-- often times accompanying him to personal appearances.Don was conceived after his parents had already raised other sons. His father had a nervous breakdown at the prospect of raising another child from birth.
*Don's older brother "Shadow" died of asthma in 1942.
*Don took an early job plucking chickens for a market when he was told he didn't have a future in acting.
*Though most of Don Knotts life he has been relatively healthy, he has battled with a degenerative eye disease. This disease eventually resulted in him becoming legally blind.
*Don is a member of the fraternity Phi Sigma Kappa
*In 2004, in Morgantown West Virginia Don went to celebrate is 80th birthday. The town gave him a parade and honored him with the Don Knotts Film Festival that next summer. They formed the West Virginia's Walk of Fame, in front of the Metropolitan Theater. They honored Don by making his the first star in their Walk of fame.

Filmography
Don Knotts recording for Chicken LittleNo Time for Sergeants (1958)
Wake Me When It's Over (1960)
The Last Time I Saw Archie (1961)
It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World (1963)
Move Over, Darling (1963)
The Incredible Mr. Limpet (1964)
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)
The Reluctant Astronaut (1967)
Rowan & Martin at the Movies (1968) (short subject)
The Shakiest Gun in the West (1968)
The Love God? (1969)
How to Frame a Figg (1971)
The Apple Dumpling Gang (1975)
No Deposit, No Return (1976)
Gus (1976)
Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (1977)
Hot Lead and Cold Feet (1978)
The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (1979)
The Prize Fighter (1979)
The Private Eyes (1981)
Cannonball Run II (1984)
Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (1987) (voice)
Big Bully (1996)
Cats Don't Dance (1997) (voice)
Pleasantville (1998)
Tom Sawyer (2000) (voice)
Chicken Little (2005) (voice)

Television work
Search for Tomorrow (cast member from 1953-1955)
The Steve Allen Show (1956-1960)
The Andy Griffith Show (cast member from 1960-1965)
The New Steve Allen Show (1961-1963) (occasional guest star)
The Don Knotts Show (1970-1971)
The Man Who Came to Dinner (1972)
The New Scooby-Doo Movies (1972)
I Love a Mystery (1973)
Steve Allen's Laugh Back (1975) (canceled after a few weeks)
Three's Company (cast member from 1979-1984)
The Little Troll Prince (1985) (voice)
Return to Mayberry (1986)
Matlock (1987-1995) (occasional guest star)
What a Country (cast member in 1987)
Timmy's Gift: A Precious Moments Christmas (1991) (voice)
Jingle Bells (1999) (voice)
Quints (2000)
Hermie: A Common Caterpillar (2003) (voice)
Hermie & Friends (2004) (voice)
Chicken Little (2005) (voice)

Links
Don Knotts Website
Washington Post obituary
Don Knotts interview which took place in 1999

"And only one will survive / I wonder who it will be / this is the ultimate showdown / of ultimate destiny."

When asked to explain E301, I've sometimes described the thing as a "retro and pop culture blog" though we all know it's a lot more than that--a deeper meaning that you don't simply describe, you just "get it".

Now, I wouldn't call The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny a remarkable flash work. Frankly, the animation sucks. But the song is righteous, the lyrics are awesome, and the very concept at its core simply screams E301.

So if you haven't already seen it, go check out The Ultimate Showdown. I think you will enjoy it.

Few African Americans have contributed as much to nerd underground movie culture and pop culture in general as this man: Samuel L. Jackson.

Nothing much else needs to be said. His incredible talent is obvious. Sure, he does wear cute hats and ethnic whatnots outside of his movie roles, but other than that... it's all obvious. So, i'll leave you with my top ten SLJ moments.

[ this list does not include Unbreakable because i did not understand the point of it. nothing happened in it because it was the first part of a trilogy that was never made? come again? ]

10. The Incredibles - it was an interesting and pleasant surprise to hear SLJ show up and deliver the sass competely cuss-free. "He starts monologuing! He starts like, this prepared speech about how *feeble* I am compared to him, how *inevitable* my defeat is, how *the world* *will soon* *be his*, yadda yadda yadda"

9. Kill Bill, Vol. 2 - so Quentin realized he wasn't making anything as good as his earlier works, but damn, he tried. for example, he injected a few seconds of SLJ and gave him a name like Rufus. that earned him at least half a letter grade.

8. Goodfellas - small, but important role that would be a step toward the greatest gangster role in movie history. he was totally a dash of chocolate sprinkles.

7. True Romance - "I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin' thang" O_o

6. The Long Kiss Goodnight - ok, it's not exactly a classic, but i enjoyed it. "What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like 'Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins.' Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?"

5. Deep Blue Sea - immediately after his motivational speech, SLJ goes down in the greatest--however sloppily computer-generated--moment in "B" movie history.

4. Jackie Brown - "Three years? That's a old crime, man! They ain't got enough room for all the niggers running around killing people today--now how are they gonna find room for you?" he earned the award for saying the "N" word more times than any other movie character.

3. the Star Wars prequels: Mace Windu - the Jedi council needed some blackness to meet their quota increase their badassedness, and who better than SLJ? try not to laugh when he says "This party's over." (for a greater challenge, try not to laugh at any of the dialog in Episode II that was supposed to be serious.)

2. Jurassic Park - "Hold onto your butts." along with Jeff Goldblum and Newman, SLJ was one of the people who made this extremely quotable movie a combination of phenomenal classic in addition to a foolish blockbuster. in my world.

1. Pulp Fiction - *insert itemized list of everything Jules said here*

i planned on not shamelessly recycling another site's material for a while, but my heart was so warmed by the description for the 2nd worst controller... i had to share.

IGN: Top 10 Tuesday: Worst Game Controllers

A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks.
He wanted a truck and she wanted a fast little sports car so she could zip
through traffic around town.

He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she
seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" she said, "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few
seconds. My birthday is coming up so surprise me!"

He did just that.

For her birthday he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Nobody has seen or heard from him since.

alright. i'm over my Zelda tantrum and have decided to stop forcing my rage upon others. as long as Kingdom Hearts II comes out on schedule, no one will die.

i let the lousy news distract me from the fact that it's Link's 20th birthday. here's the coolest article i've seen yet, from my favorite game news site, the ever-sketchy 1up.com:

1up.com - 20 Years of Zelda

i demand a triforce cake.

Oh it looks great now, but you should have been there when they were putting this thing together. I think it'll be quite some time before I crave another Ferris wheel ride.

My tiny town is having it's annual Washington Day celebration this weekend. We come complete with a parade down Bay Street, which ends at our wonderful park downtown where the carnival is being held.

I went down to check it out this evening, and much to my surprise they even had those crazy swings that everyone always gets flung out of at fairs around the nation. It's a good thing they set our swings up by the lake; this way if you fly out you have a 50% chance of landing in the water. Of course, this is Florida. You may survive the fall, but can you outswim the alligators??

Has anyone else used the tip in my last post concerning that MS Office install? Let me know if it's working for you. It seems to be doing the trick on my end of the stick. (I am elementary teacher. Hear me rhyme.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_McGowan

Amy's cool....Flashback to the golden girls.




Word.

Q#E$%!#$%!#$% @#$^SD$%^$%&@$% @#$%@$

Zelda Delayed til Fall

!@#$!#$^#$%&$^&#%^@$%SD RST%&#$%^2456@#$^!#% asdf asdf asdf ajl;sein;aoi !#$%@#$^
!#@$!#%!#$^#$%&$%^&%^&YASEFaekjtyp93847159083dfq34987 not again!

I'm not really sure if this is going to work or not. We'll call this a test run. I know that Zann and I have been experiencing that ever so annoying MS Office 2000 install prompt when we try to open certain sites. Through some searching, I may have found an answer to the problem.

Anyway, here's how you go about fixing it (or not) if you want to give it a shot. It's really rather simple.

START MENU
SETTINGS
CONTROL PANEL
ADD/REMOVE PROGRAMS
Highlight MS OFFICE 2000 and click on CHANGE (which will open a "MAINTENANCE MODE" window) from there you
Click on ADD/REMOVE FEATURES
Expand OFFICE TOOLS
Finally click on the pull down menu next to HTML SOURCE EDITING and select NOT AVAILABLE (which should put a red X next to html source editing)

Hit UPDATE and you're on your way... hopefully.

One less annoyance in the world. And yes, I have Firefox, and it causes me more problems than IE. The End.

the office

1. friday at noon would mark the point at which the weekend begins for all 9-5 people. we could remain at work, but no incoming phonecalls are to be accepted, and no work is to be done unless absolutely necessary. the hours of 12-5 are reserved for blaring thrash metal and holding special meetings to discuss television programs and flavors of toothpaste.
2. a minimum of 3 weeks of vacation per year for everybody.
3. in addition to sick days, employees must also receive no-questions-asked days, aka the-new-Zelda-game-is-out days.
4. all income earned between the hours of 10pm and 8am are to be tax free. (borrowed from Tom Griswold.)
5. fax machines and photocopiers... just... no.
6. a technology is to be developed so that a ringing telephone can ONLY be heard by the person who is meant to receive the call. you figure out the details--i'm no inventor.
7. everyone shall be allowed to listen to their music of choice at a reasonable volume, provided that music is only of the rock-and-or-roll persuasion if you work in my office.
8. all office tools, (i.e. staplers, tape dispensers, and SHARPIES BECAUSE THEY ARE MINE AND GET YOUR OWN BAG FOR THE LOVE OF GOD) shall be equipped with electronic devices similar to the invisible leash. if they are taken past the perimeter of their designated office area, they will emit an harmless, yet attention-getting electric shock.

subchapter: real estate (this will only matter to me, but i just have to get it out)

1. no more than 3 pieces of paper may be involved in the entire contractual process of purchasing or selling a property.
2. all real estate agents must take a course in and be tested on politeness on a bi-monthly basis, followed up by surprise inspections.
3. the administrative staff, who are actually doing at least half the work, should receive payment equal to that of the real estate agent in each sale and purchase. (this rule will also apply to nurses and doctors.)
4. apartment tenants must realize that they do not own the building in which they reside. should the owner wish to sell it, they must get out of the way of people who wish to see it and refrain from sending me snippy emails.
5. better yet, property managers must choose new apartment tenants with a random lottery. no lengthy applications or showings or ads or phonecalls are to be used. if they are, i want no part of any of it, and that fact is to be communicated to and understood by the entire Maine real estate network.

Mario Kart Arcade Grand Prix Mario Kart Arcade Grand Prix lives up to the Nintendo name in all its forms; delivering high quality gameplay that will, (sigh) be largely overlooked due to poor marketing and neglecting key features. Highlights: Visuals: 7 Gameplay: 9 Courses: 10 Multiplayer: 5
Mario Kart Arcade: Letsa Go!The game really shines when you put in enough quarters for your first credit and you take the wheel for the first time. Scrolling through the characterrs you see familiar faces, eventually landing on a couple old friends like Mr. and Mrs. Pacman! Yes, Mr. and Mrs. Pacman are playable characters! After you select your character you're told to pose for the camera, thats right, I said camera. Your face (or whatever else you can get in front of the lens) is superimposed onto a cutout of your selected character, you are then identified by that image in the game on all mini maps and rank boards.
LevelsThere are several different worlds to choose from in this game, my personal favorite is the PacMan world which does a great job at showcasing the return of jumping in Mario Kart! They range in difficulty from easy to very, very hard.

Gameplay
Gameplay is simple, no shiting options either. The only thing that may take a while to grasp is jumping, to jump you have to press the brake. I like this because it creates problems for button mashers as they can't just jump, and jump, and jump. This feature forces gamers into finesse or failure!

Items
There are several new items, and I won't go into details as that would ruin a lot of the surprises, but there is one item that looks like a weepin bell from Pokemon. I strongly advise not being one of its victims.

Multiplayer Experience
From a multiplayer standpoint, Nintendo fails. You can only race with one other person no matter what! Nintendo really let me down on this one. I went to try it out with 3 other friends and figured we could all play at the same time together. I turned out to be dead wrong!

Overall
I highly reccomend this game in spite of its multiplayer shortcommings. It offers several new items, features, and awesome levels. Newcommers won't get discouraged by large learning curve and vetarns of the console games will find some difficult challenges.

• The Opera Browser for Nintendo DS
  
• Stinky dog saves girls from rapist
  
• Sheep Abuser Must Register As A Sex Offender - wait, SHOULD he have to? *boggle*
  
• Crazy churchy mom mutilates her own baby - what a nice Valentine's Day story...
  
• Myspace Murder #193784087
  
• New Images Capture VIrus in Extroardinary Detail
  
• Tetris DS videos - Balloon Fight mode!
  
• Textorizer - fun

I used to love that game. The following information was found on The History Channel's website. Go there for more fun Valentine's brainrot.

Did You Know?

- 192 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine's Day the second-most popular greeting-card-giving occasion. (This total excludes packaged kids valentines for classroom exchanges.) (Source: Hallmark research)

- Nearly 60 percent of all Valentine's Day cards are purchased in the six days prior to the observance, making Valentine's Day a procrastinator's delight. (Source: Hallmark research)

- There are 120 single men (i.e., never married, widowed or divorced) who are in their 20s for every 100 single women of the same ages. Corresponding numbers for the following race and ethnic groups are:
Hispanics: 153 men per 100 women
Asians (single race): 132 men per 100 women (This ratio is not significantly different from that for Hispanics or non-Hispanic whites.)
Non-Hispanic whites (single race): 120 men per 100 women
Blacks (single race): 92 men per 100 women (The numbers of black men and women in this age group are not significantly different from one another.)

- There are 33 single men (i.e., never married, widowed or divorced) age 65 or older for every 100 single women of the same ages. Corresponding numbers for the following race and ethnic groups are:
Hispanics: 38 men per 100 women
Non-Hispanic whites (single race): 33 men per 100 women
Blacks (single race): 33 men per 100 women
Asians (single race): 28 men per 100 women
(Note: None of the ratios for the individual groups differ significantly from one another nor from the ratio for all people age 65 or older.)

- 2.2 million marriages take place in the United States annually. That breaks down to more than 6,000 a day.

- 145,800 marriages are performed in Nevada during 2004. So many couples "tie the knot" in the Silver State that it ranked fourth nationally in marriages, even though its total population that year among states was 35th.

- The estimated U.S. median ages at first marriage for women and men are 25.8 and 27.4 respectively, in 2004. The age for women rose 4.7 years in the last three decades. The age for men at first marriage is up 4.3 years.

- Men and women in northeastern states generally have a higher median age at first marriage than the national average. In Massachusetts, for example, women were a median of 27.4 years old and men 29.1 years of age at first marriage. States where people typically marry young include Utah, where women were a median of 21.9 years and men, 23.9 years.

- 54% and 57% of American women and men, respectively, are 15 or older and currently married (includes those who are separated).

- 4.7 milllion opposite-sex cohabitating couples maintained households in 2004. These couples comprised 4.2 percent of all households.

- 1,271 locations produced chocolate and cocoa products in 2003. These establishments employed 43,379 people. California led the nation in the number of such establishments (with 146) followed by Pennsylvania (with 120).

- 519 locations produced nonchocolate confectionary products in 2003. These establishments employed 23,343 people.

- The total value of shipments in 2003 for firms producing chocolate and cocoa products was $13.5 billion. Nonchocolate confectionery product manufacturing, meanwhile, was a $5.5 billion industry.

- 3,523 Number of confectionery and nut stores in the United States in 2003. Often referred to as candy stores, they are among the best sources of sweets for Valentine's Day.

- The per capita consumption of candy by Americans in 2004 was 4.7 pounds. Candy consumption has actually declined over the last few years; in 1997, each American gobbled or savored more than 27 pounds of candy a year.

- The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut flowers in 2004 for all flower-producing businesses in 36 states with $100,000 or more in sales was $422 million was. Among states, California was the leading producer, alone accounting for nearly three-quarters of this amount ($304 million).

- The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut roses in 2004 for all businesses in 36 states with $100,000 or more in sales was $43 million. Among all types of cut flowers, roses were second in receipts to lilies ($78 million).

- There were 22,022 florists nationwide in 2003. These businesses employed 113,270 people.

- There were 28,527 jewelry stores in the United States in 2003. Jewelry stores offer engagement, wedding and other rings to lovers of all ages. In February 2005, these stores sold $2.4 billion worth of merchandise. (This figure has not been adjusted for seasonal variation, holiday or trading day differences or price changes.) .The merchandise at these locations could well have been produced at one of the nation's 1,892 jewelry manufacturing establishments. The manufacture of jewelry was an $8.6 billion industry in 2003.

Data courtesy of the U.S. Census Bureau

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Befriended Hippo)

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I heard the greatest story on the radio this afternoon. Picture it. Sicily, 1935... oh wait, Golden Girls flashback.

The DJ's were discussing the upcoming Valentine's holiday. A woman calls in to laugh at her husband, for lack of a better reason even though it's more sad than funny.

She's not laughing because of the lame gifts he gets her, though. Apparently early in the marriage, she noticed (and rightly complained) that her husband does not pay attention to detail. She laughs because for the last seven years (count them boys, seven) she has been giving him the EXACT SAME Valentine's Day card.

Apparently every year, he looks at the card, says the obligatory "Oh honey that's great! Thank you!" and then goes on his merry way.

I can't decide if it's more hilarious that she actually writes the year on the back of the card each time, so when (if??) he ever does realize the joke she'll have proof.. or if it's funnier than her entire family KNOWS what she does each year, making him the butt of EVERY Valentine's Day joke.

He will NEVER live that down. That's a lot of diamonds gentlemen... a lot of diamonds.

http://www.captainmorgan.com/en-us/EVENTS/CaptainMorganEvents/CaptainMorganForPresident.htm

Let's make up a list of movies Zoot can't wait to watch. Careful though, clicking the links will result in a good half-hour of trailer watching. And I'm not speaking of the mobile home variety, either.

Tristan and Isolde
The DaVinci Code
Curious George
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
The Ant Bully
Casanova

Ok, I hope to have kept you busy for a bit, or at least given you some options with which to waste your time. My work here is done. Enjoy!

Talking Dog for Sale - speaks for itself

Fish and Paint - very short, sweet, and catchy

and in honor of certain people's favorite show starting this week, starring a voice you may recognize: The Guy Who'd Rather Watch Survivor than Have Sex

Being that I live close to Canada, I get Canadian television. It's good stuff, lots of comedy that I never saw on the air on American networks, like Kids in the Hall, Hockey Night in Canada, The Raccoons of Evergreen Forest, SCTV and others. But the winner, and still champion, of bizarre Canadian television, ROCK AND RULE!


This bizarre cartoon was about Angel, a member of a punk rock band in the apocoliptic future, is kidnapped by Mok, a legendary superocker. Obsessed with a dark experiment, Mok plans to use Angel's voice to summon a demon from another dimension. The rest of the band follows Mok to Nuke York in an attempt to get her back.

After witnessing this thing late one night on the Canadian Broadcast Channel, hereafter CBC, my brother and I sang MY NAME IS MOK AND THANKS A LOT for about the next decade. That's the only song we knew and remembered. The music in this movie is amazingly strange. You may notice he sounds a lot like Lou Reed. Yeah, I think it really is Lou Reed.

Of course, they banish the summoned demon by singing a love song, Send Love Through. That is exactly the song I'd use if I had to send a demon back to the hell from whence it came. Seriously, if you have Netflix, rent this flick, you might regret it, but you'll always be able to talk about seeing it.