this weekend i finished up my latest foray into experiencing the classic RPGs i missed. for the most part, i missed them because i was a bit too young and dumb and in love with plumbers to get far into an RPG until the mid 90s.

first: Chrono Trigger (Square 1995 SNES)

for years it pained me that i hadn't played this. everyone praises it excitedly. as usual, i assumed it was mostly hype, but this game was far better than people even made it sound.

in case you didn't guess, this is a time travel RPG, far cooler than "time travel" makes it sound. no, you aren't going back to WWII then ancient Egypt, etc. this game has its own worlds and times, and you could dedicate a lot of time to exploring them. there's humor, interesting enough characters, and most importantly variety. and cats.

did i mention there are multiple endings?

then: Final Fantasy IV (US FFII - Square 1991 SNES)

now... now i know why older gamers often say this is the best FF instead of VII. refreshingly difficult, this game sucked me in from start to finish.

there's another great plot here. after it's over, you will remember Cecil and his posse. characters come in and out of the game and change abilities. you go underground and meet dwarves. you go to the moon. you get your ass kicked by Bahamut and say "screw that." you get to go inside of and kill a giant robot bent on destroying the world. you fly a giant whale ship. you store items inside a giant chocobo who can "barf" them back out for you. you can find a secret room with the programmers' likenesses and a porn mag. you fight a giant wall that has a demon monster protruding from it and is constantly moving closer to crush you. hello.


two games, countless hours. the cheapest way to do this was to grab Final Fantasy Chronicles for PS. *however* after i purchased it they announced FFIV for GBA, which is now out and contains extra dungeons, etc. by all accounts, the PS ports have only negligible differences from the originals. most notably, the translations in FFIV differ when it comes to dialog, item names, and some place names. don't worry, fans, Tellah still calls the prince a "spoony bard".

as if my better-late-than-never opinion matters, i have to say both these games are essential for RPG fans. they come from the time when game designers relied on their imaginations instead of technology. as you're playing, they come off as being more realistic than the most impressive 3D titles.

Dear Mr. Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are.

You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.

But what we found out is that each one of us...


...is a brain...


...and an athlete...


...and a basket case...


...a princess...


and a criminal ...


Does that answer your question?


Sincerely yours,
the Breakfast Club.

"Don't you know who I am?! I bet you don't know who I am--"

So the third X-Men. Is it worth it? Depends if you're a mutant fan or not. If you loved the first two films, you'll definitely love the trilogy capper.

And it IS a trilogy capper. This, the final X-Men movie (yeah, right... sure) brings a... decent end to most issues. There are some issues I have with script decisions and... I can't elaborate any further--there's an ultimate spoiler in this film--don't let anybody tell you ANYTHING about the story if you plan on watching it. Things will be emotional.

The action is top notch. Hugh Jackman owns Wolverine. The attitude, the fierceness--it's all there. In fact, Logan is quite possibly the only reason to watch the movie. As the most popular X-Man and the main focus of the first two movies, Wolverine steals the show.

Except when Beast is onscreen. Who would've thought? Tossed salad and scrambled eggs...

Critics are split. Literally 50/50, though it's early in the game and the score can change. What X-Men: The Last Stand boils down to is a film that comic book and cartoon fans are going to enjoy. People who don't know the difference between a Sentinel and a Gundam won't know what hit 'em--and will probably bad mouth it in turn. And some folks just can't stand the hype.

I guess the draw for me is my fascination with superpowers in general--otherworldly gifts and abilities. That's one of the reasons Mystery Men is one of my guilty pleasures.

The film delivers everything the first two movies did--and that's probably why people are so critical of it. They can't stand one trick ponies. For example, The Matrix and Men In Black sequels both got poor reviews from top critics for a variety of reasons, but mostly because the movies didn't do anything new--it was just more of the same thing.

Isn't that what sequels are all about? You want to see more of what made you love the first movie, right?

Granted, you'd like to see your characters grow and develop and do different things--and in this film, our X-Men do, though perhaps not on such a wide scale as, oh, say, Christian Bale in Equilibrium.

... that movie was so awesome...

In closing, I'd like to say, "I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!!"

EDIT: STAY AFTER THE CREDITS!

As the year progresses, and the thermometer starts to rise, there are a few things I miss as a kid. This is one of them. Playing in the sprinkler was always a treat. Some of the lucky kids had parents spring ten bucks for this gem. You'd hook the garden hose to the clown's head, and it would shoot the hat five feet in the air. If this isn't amusing enough, trying to pass thru the jet stream and keep the hat on its water perch was that much more fun. Well, it was fun till the hat would fall down. My head was a magnet for that clown hat.

I recently read there was a recall in the early 80's due to kids losing their eyes looking into the jet of water. Now if I ever see someone in their thirties with an eye patch, I'm gonna assume they were one of those stupid kids. Heck, that clown hat gave me more than one contusion, and that was usually when I knew it was time to shut it down and go take a nap.

Sadly, Wham-O did resolve the 'put your eye out' issue by attaching a flow control valve. I imagine the disappointed kids that got one of those. The hat would only shoot up a foot or two, getting the kid's shins wet.


I recall Giggle Wiggle was in more lawns than Fun Fountain. I guess less injuries. I wasn't amused as it was for the younger kids. I remember people just using it to water their lawns.

Lastly, I can't forget to mention the end all be all of water toys, the Slip and Slide. What can I say? It only takes one mistake to remember for the rest of your life. Make sure it's completely wet before trying to slide.

So boys and girls, you have homework. Before Labor Day, you are required to run thru a sprinkler, or have a water gun fight, or at very least do a cannon ball into your next hot tub. It will help you stay a kid.

For those of you who don't know me well, I am TERRIBLE at drawing those 6 degrees of separation conclusions when it comes to our favorite movie stars.

I watched The Da Vinci Code last night at the theater. Having just recently finished the book, I can tell you (without giving anything away of course) that the movie closely follows written version. There are a few instances where it seems to stray from the path a bit, but then it swings around and hops back on track again.

Tom Hanks was as Tom Hanks always is.. a wonderful actor. That being said, let's move on the rest of the cast. Did you know that Sir Leigh Teabing is played by Ian McKellen who is none other than Gandalf, as well as Magneto. I NEVER get these connections until at least a day after I've seen the movie.

Also! Sophie Neveu is played by Audrey Tautou, who is also the lead in another of my favorite movies entitled Amelie.

I propose that from now on during the opening credits, actors/actresses should be announced with a little road runner blurb under their name stating the last movie in which participated. I understand I may be the only person who finds this useful, but damnit I hate being out of the loop!

E3

Well, this was the first E3 I've missed since....the previous NextGen Wars erupted with Gamecube and PS2. I'm totally ticked off. Me and Morgan Webb were totally going to get hooked up if I went. E3 2005 I stalked her and she kicked me off a video game. I saw some behind the scenes drama unfold and it was awesome. (Morgan darling, it wouldn't have worked anyway. I'm afraid of women that have the same body shape and strength as Donkey Kong.)

E3 2006, my friend Mat Nastos was interviewed by the G4 network and broadcast. Had I gone, I would have received a free X-Box 360. Met a lot of G4 people, and gotten to pitch a show and complain about Leo Laporte being pulled from the airwaves.

I settled for E3 news via IGN. I saw several interesting things, among them Star Fox DS, which I have already preordered, the Evolution game by the guy that developed Sim City, and of course the Wii.

Wii Don't Know the Future

After the initial "Holy Sinking Ship Batman" reactions by the naysayers (including myself) when Nintendo introduced the Wiimote, people already seem to be accepting Wii. E301's own Joe.gif is an excellent example of a hardcore Sony fan who is at the very least willing to give something new a try. Nintendo really stole the E3 show and sent shivers down the spines of Microsoft and Sony, and I must say, I'm very suprised.

Have you seen the Wii gun attachment? Its awesome.

X-Men 3:

Been waiting for it for a long time. Going to AMC Imax to see it as soon as I can pick up my cousin and jam over to Ontario. I'm extremely disappointed with the lack of Jubilee. Hopefully, there will be some sort of scene where she shoots fireworks at that Pyro guy and sends him flying into a light pole.

No, I'm not Tom Cruise--here, just look at this:


Previous posts and recent rumblings in the industry have forced me to take a good hard look at the things I "think" I know and love. And I'm thinking I've made an unusual revelation in the process.

Here, we have three contenders: Nintendo, Sony and Microsoft, the three giants that are entwined in a bitter battle for our devotion and monies... mostly our monies.

My Sony allegiance is no secret--I am a PlayStation fan. With games like Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Katamari Damacy, Ratchet and Clank and Jak and Daxter, the PS2 has had a great run.

So you can understand my faltering when the price for the PS3 was announced. I mean, this ain't no dictatorship--if General Sony wants to lead this charge, he'll probably be running on his own--or with a reduced army. If Sony has done anything wrong, it's loading up its system with every type of support possible to make it nigh impossible to own the thing! So ten out of ten for style, but minus several million for good thinking, yeah?

Yeah, and there's the PSP, too--once they get the thing working with the PS3, there's some definite media benefits, but as of this moment, the handheld has had a poor showing. Future titles like Exit are promising.

And then there's Microsoft, led by multi-millionaire Bill Gates and his posse of computer nerds. I've never thought Microsoft, a company who has bullied and dominated in the personal computer market, deserved to stick its circuits in the gaming industry. But with great titles like Halo and... uh... Halo 2, they certainly made themselves a force to be reckoned with. And the 360 does have a great deal of processing power as evidenced in the upcoming... Halo 3... *sigh*

But then there's Nintendo. And what exactly is my beef with Nintendo? It's the fact that, with the release of Gamecube, support for the 64 pretty much went south--and as for my entire N64 library? Now useless. Never had I felt jaded about a system purchase as much as I did with the 64.

... that's it? Nintendo just changes with the times and I swear off it forever? Maybe it was the change of age--how PlayStation seemed to feature more mature titles than Nintendo, or how the vast psone library could still be played on my new PS2.

But in the course of my research I made a discovery: the N64 had approximately a six year run, with the last game for the system being released on August 20, 2002. I don't have the date for when Nintendo discontinued N64 production, but it's safe to say that you can't go out and buy a brand-spankin' new N64 anywhere today. Besides, anybody who was a Nintendo fan had their Gamecube when it came out back in 2001.

Here's the kicker: as of this November, when the PS3 "hits store shelves", the PS2 will have had a run of, you guessed it, six years.

And here I am still mad at Nintendo and about to drop SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS on this new system?

In lieu of this evidence, it was fast becoming clear that the "Wii" might be worth a second look after all...

The clincher, of course, wasn't Nintendo's new age, fancy pants controller (which, while it does have a kinda 'Virtual Boy' gimmick aura to it, admittedly looks fun), nor was it the footage of the new titles slated for launch with the system (*coughZeldacough*)... but rather the Virtual Console, which allows you to download the best of the NES, SNES and N64 libraries--plus old Genesis and TurboGrafx titles.

... well, that's nice and all, but...

... HOLY CRAP, the system is backwards compatible with GAMECUBE?!

I've got to do some serious thinking. It seems that Sony may have made a fatal error somewhere. Even Microschwaft speakers were saying that gamers' money would be better spent on a 360 AND a Wii. And you know the scary thing... ?

... they may be right...

We Are Not E.

EXTRA CREDIT: Name the last game that was released for the Nintendo 64. Hint: it was a multi-platform title.

Sony: If We Make It, They Will Buy news from 1UP.com

since the day i vomited in the wastebasket after hearing the price of PS3, i've been saying "does it really matter?" people will buy it. i will buy it. i may wait a year and scavenge on ebay but i will not go without a PS3.

so to some extent, Sony is right on the money. why shouldn't they charge so much? they'll get it.

or will they? *dun dun dunnnn* of course they'll be fine, but they're counting their chocobos before they hatch. the last couple console drops have been miserable experiences, especially the PS2. and now it's becoming clear that not many titles--at all, not just popular ones--will be available for PS3 at launch. and then there's the price. that's 3 reasons to wait, and even the fanboys are noticing. not to mention that at this point everyone's looking at their PSP and wondering why the hell they bought one and are still trying to pay off the credit card bill. and now i see Sony's higher-ups showing a cocky attitude that almost always precedes a disappointment:

"We have built up a certain brand equity over time since the launch of PlayStation in 1995 and PS2 in 2000 that the first five million are going to buy it, whatever it is, even it didn't have games"

it should be interesting. Nintendo's always gotten by with having few games available at the launch of a new console. but they can count on Mario to bridge the gap. and Nintendos are $200.

*wrings hands* all this talk of video game politics and big business lately is making me nuts. can we please go back to Mario vs Sonic?

to answer the question i've been asked 3 times already, no, i do not have the new Mario game. it just came out yesterday. i'm too exhausted to run out to the store like a fangirl. i will get it... this weekend maybe? i'm supposed to be on a strict budget. but how often do i follow any idea preceded by "supposed to"? IT'S MARIO! expect a review. just keep your overalls on.

edit: ok ok, i got it!

Ok, here's how this works. I'm going to post a "would you rather" question. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to answer my question in the comments and then come up with your own "would you rather" for the rest of us to answer. You don't even have to make one up, just google it and find the scenario you like best.

By the way, you don't really have a choice as to whether you accept or not. I am the queen of false hope.

Here goes.

Would you rather......

not be able to listen to music for ten years
or
be forced to watch nothing but reality tv for ten years

??

stolen from Paul's myspace bulletin

You scored as Thrash Metaller. You are into Thrash and Speed metal! Your metal is best served fast with blistering guitar solos. Moshing is compulsory! Thrash Metaller 80% Old School Heavy Metal 80% Glam Metal 75% Nu Metal/Metalcore 70% Black Metaller 65% Grindcore 65% Death Metal 60% Power/Prog Metal 50% Stoner 45% Metal Troll 35% A real 'metal genre' quiz created with QuizFarm.com

topics in no particular order:

1. Zelda: Twighlight Princess will have 2 versions upon launch: for GCN and for Wii. ooookay.
2. previews for FFXIII.
3. PS3 will cost $600. HOLY WALLET SCREWING, BATMAN. you can get a lite version for $500. gee, thanks. it's due out Nov 17. why so much? i... don't know.
4. the PS3 controller. awesome. built-in motion sensor. wonder where they got that idea...?
5. Xbox: more of the same plus Halo3 yadda yadda.
6. more Nintendo junk: *deep breath* Super Paper Mario, WarioWare for Wii (picture this with the remote controller... ya know, like the nose-picking mini game... stick it right up in there), SUPER MARIO GALAXY WEE HOO, Metroid Prime 3, Yoshi's Island 2 (i care!), Excite Truck (yes, like Excite Bike! retro lols!), FF: Crystal Chronicles 2 (argh, get over here with that stupid chalice, cuz honest to god they're making another).
7. PS2 stuff: FFVII: Dirge of Cerberus, Dawn of Mana, FFXII, so many new action games and expected sequels to current action games that i can't begin to list them, and Charlie Brown's All-Stars :-P

recommended coverage at http://www.gamespot.com/, http://www.ign.com/e3/2006/games/, and G4TV.

discuss.

How did it all start? Ok. I was recollecting the video games I never played to completion. My list is a longer list than most gamers, as I am a lame ass. But anywho, the first game I simply had not the talent to complete was the Sega Master System's Fantasy Zone.

I rummaged thru my ancient electronics crap to plug back in my old sega master system. I was completely surprised to see it started right away with no repetitive blowing out and reinserting. Well, o.k. I cleaned with Q-tips then reinserted, everything worked great.
Unfortunately, in their years of travels, I no longer have the Fantasy Zone cartridge. Oh well. No tears shed here, I just spent the last few hours playing a more addictive, and much more mentally satisfying game, monopoly.


this game was and is still great. The funniest part, Japs spent all their time in the game , and spent VERY LITTLE MONEY ON THE PACKAGING!!!! thats funny stuff. Anyway, this was the first game I ever owned that had a save game option. The built in battery saved the game so when you turn back on for the next family game night, it picked up right where you left off. (btw, the battery still works even after 20 years)

With up to 10 players. Human or computer of any combination. The computer players can be set at 3 different intelligence levels. I had my own game where I see how fast I can take out the 9 computer players. (the trick is buy all the rail roads no matter what the price.) my record was like an hour.

my question for you. what was your first overly time consuming game?

• E3 starts on the 9th, and of course lots of new info will be placed in our greedy little hands
• the Revolution's Wii's virtual console is going to include games from the Genesis and the TurboGrafx-16... i know that sounds like something i'd make up, but seriously, the TG16. did any of you even have one of those?!? i've never seen one in person. it's like the Wyoming of video games for me. and Bonk lives there.
• TRAILER FOR ZELDA DS~! btw, it is to be called Phantom Hourglass, and i cannot imagine a cooler possible title.
• Lara Croft coming to Nintendo... the only thought that comes to mind is i wonder if they'll adjust her boob physics to be more G-rated. Spyro and Crash are also creating an N presence.
• New Super Mario Bros. out in the 15th.
• for you other weirdos who dreamed of being a paleontologist until you grew up and learned it was only exciting 1% of the time, there's a game for you: Dino Master. you go on a virtual dig. and that is when the attack comes. he slashes you here and here or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. the point is you are alive when they start to eat you... *ahem* moving on...
• new Zelda figures coming.
• LostMagic is neat.

i just realized i subconsciously lifted several of these tidbits from my NP mag, so i better mention that.

When I found out Nintendo officially named its console "WII" two things came to mind.

1: I no longer had a reason to tell everyone at work "The Revolution is Comming".
2: Oh god Nintendo, please, please, don't reduce yourself to a 3rd party publisher.

On a good note, stock traders responded favorably to the name as indicated by this chart. 10 points to anybody that can tell me why their stock price peaked in 2000.

Yeah. I think a little part of all of us wonders about and slightly hopes that the worst should happen.

Magician Spending Week in Water Bubble - Yahoo! News